During a late timeout in Game 6 of the Western Conference Simi-Finals The Houston Rockets huddled up and made a decision. “Guys, if we win, we go to Golden State on Sunday to play the Warriors. We won’t be able to spend Mother’s Day with our mother’s and a lot of our fans will watch the game and not take their moms out.” said Rockets star James Harden. The team collectively decided to do what was right for mother’s everywhere and not win the game resulting in them being knocked out of the playoffs. During a post game interview, Rockets coach Mike D’Antoni said “That’s a group of selfless guys in that locker room. I’m proud of them. They could have won the game and kept their hopes alive for the championship they’ve wanted their entire lives but they know what’s really important.” The Golden State Warriors also acknowledged the Rockets sacrifice. “I’m really thankful for those guys” said Warriors standout Steph Curry. “I will be able to spend the entire Mother’s Day with my family and something tells me that my wife could use some extra attention. If we win the championship again this year, I think they should get some of the credit for gracefully bowing out.” Warriors coach Steve Kerr said their ability to not execute down the stretch in order to ensure fans wouldn’t be distracted on Mother’s Day was incredible. “There will be other games, but this would’ve been huge. Everyone owes the Rockets a round of applause for not forcing a game 7 on Mother’s Day.” Several mother’s for the players on the Houston Rockets said they don’t want to see their son’s on Mother’s Day because “That shit was embarrassing and nobody wants to have to spend their Mother’s Day feeling sorry for a bunch of losers.”

MAN WHO THOUGHT AYESHA CURRY’S STATEMENT MEANT HE SHOULD HOLLA AT MICHELLE OBAMA STILL IN ICU.

Chicago, IL- A Chicago man is still in ICU after foolishly thinking he should try to holla at former First Lady Michelle Obama. Derrick “What Yo Name Is” Cole approached Mrs. Obama at a fundraiser for Yes We Code and decided she would be appreciative of his attention. Last week, Mr. Cole was at first upset, then inspired by a controversial interview with Ayesha Curry in which she admitted to missing some of the attention she used to get from men. Mr. Cole was very active on social media misinterpreting the short clip to mean she wanted men to flirt with her. He then thought other celebrity wives might miss and want attention from other men and decided this could be an opportunity. Mr. Cole posted on Facebook: “I always thought women were happy with successful men. Seems like they still need more so I’m gonna start hollerin’ at married women, the more successful the better. I’m gonna come up big time. Think I will get at Michelle Obama next week” Despite all of the warnings from friends that she didn’t want him, Cole decided to shoot his shot during a Q&A at a fundraiser. When chosen to ask Mrs. Obama a question, Cole asked if she get’s lonely when Barack is away and if he could find out what that thang do. Mr. Cole was admitted to a local hospital shortly afterwards. At press time it was still not clear if it was angry crowd members, The Secret Service or Mrs. Obama herself who laid hands on Cole and put him in the hospital. Cole was able to make a brief statement: “Uhhhhggggghh Owwwww mmmmuugggggh.”

Man Who Was Charged $200 To Replace A Light Bulb In His Laptop Suspects He May Have Been Ripped Off.

Clearwater, FL- When Mike Malone turned on his laptop and got nothing but a blank screen, he knew he’d have to shell out some money to get it fixed. He didn’t think it would cost as much as it did. “I know it can be expensive to fix a computer but this is ridiculous. What kind of light bulb costs that much? I should’ve gone on YouTube and changed the bulb myself. Next time I will.” Malone was surprised because he said he usually gets a good deal. “I have a deal worked out with the guy who works there. I give him cash and he takes the computer home to fix on his own. When I told him my screen might need a new bulb, he said he would take care of me.” In the past, Malone said he’s paid less than $50 to have the ink replaced in his computer. “I type a lot so he hooks me up with the ink the computer uses to make words and letters”. Malone says he may take his computer elsewhere. “I’m gonna need to have it washed soon and I always let them take care of that for me but I’m starting to believe that I’m being taken advantage of.” The Urban Beet has elected not to name the establishment or employee because anyone with that much nerve doesn’t give a damn about anything.