Unable to fathom that he is globally abhorred, the President was gleeful when he saw celebrations outside of The White House. Returning from a day of golfing, he asked if it would be a good idea to get out of the limo to take photos with crowd members. Secret Service agents quickly talked him out of that idea. Once inside the White House Trump saw celebrations happening the world over and was told by a quick thinking Black Secret Service agent that the world was having “Homegoing celebrations for his Presidency” It is doubtful the President for the next 73 days knows what a homegoing service is said a White House aide. “As long as he thinks folks are celebrating him in some way, he doesn’t care” explained the source.
Unfortunately, the 45th President is now even more determined to hang on to his office. He was heard saying that he didn’t want to disappoint the people celebrating him. He is also considering approving a new stimulus package so that the revelers could afford MAGA hats that he noticed were missing from the celebrations.